


Unicorny

by TourmalineQueen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Comment Fic, Gen, Mentions of unicorns, Trixie trolling her demon babysitter, probably not that accurate but hopefully kind, talking about gender while trying to be both respectful and accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:47:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/pseuds/TourmalineQueen
Summary: Written for Comment Fic on LJ, Free For All.Prompt:Lucifer, Trixie Decker+Lucifer Morningstar, "Lucifer, why didn't Noah wait for the unicorns?"
Comments: 8
Kudos: 172
Collections: Bite Sized Bits of Fic, Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2020





	Unicorny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Evil_Little_Dog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/gifts).



"Lucifer?"

"Yes, small human?" Lucifer still wasn't entirely sure how or why he had been deemed acceptable as a guardian for the Detective Decker's offspring, but he was definitely pleased. Well, pleased with everything but the incessant questions, most of his answers for which Detective Decker had informed him were unsuitable for little ears.

"Why didn't Noah wait for the unicorns?" Trixie asked, holding up her current favourite plush purple, rainbow-maned unicorn toy.

"One of my demons was there, and from what she told me, it wasn't a case of waiting for the unicorns to arrive," Lucifer replied, aiming very hard for a neutral tone.

Evidently he failed at neutrality, because the small human looked appalled.

"You sent a demon to the Ark?"

"No, no, I simply had a number of agents roaming the earth, and the demon Crowley was in Mesopotamia at the time the Ark was being constructed. God was doing enough to cause trouble, without my lot adding to things," Lucifer explained hurriedly.

Trixie looked unimpressed.

"Crowley told me that one of Noah's sons, Shem, had rounded up a pair of unicorns, but was careless enough to allow one to escape. She didn't quite realise that one needs both a male and a female to set up a breeding program, and thunder was already rumbling when the female ran away. There simply was not enough time to secure the female before the rain came," Lucifer finished.

"Oh," said Trixie, processing the information. "Why didn't the demon Crowley know that you need a boy unicorn and a girl unicorn to make baby unicorns?"

"Ah, well, gender is something with which the demon Crowley has a fluid relationship. Actually you should meet him, I'm sure you'd like him, now that he's no longer on Hell's payroll."

"You said she then he, for Crowley, Lucifer. Which is it?"

"Sometimes Crowley is a she and sometimes Crowley is a he. And, from time to time they're a they," Lucifer replied, silently wishing for Detective Decker to arrive home early, he was positive he wasn't supposed to be talking about gender with the small human, but he knew he'd lost control of the conversation.

"So, sometimes the demon Crowley feels like she's a girl, and sometimes he feels like he's a boy?" Trixie asked, brow furrowed.

"Yes, exactly so."

"Oh, one of my friends at school has an older sibling that's kinda like that. Sometimes her sibling looks like a sister, and sometimes like a brother," Trixie told Lucifer, very seriously, but also seemingly happy to let the Gender Talk come to a merciful end.

"Could the demon Crowley not have saved the girl unicorn?"

Lucifer wondered if the small human had learned torment and interrogation techniques from her housemate and her mother, respectively.


End file.
